Without sidequests, you're not on an adventure.

Lately I have been referring to my breast cancer journey as a side quest. So many different characters, places, and evolution while making progress in your primary quest of life. Along the way, collecting all the hospital wristbands - they must unlock something epic, right?! We’ll see 😏

Next infusion on this side quest is this Monday, June 3rd - infusion no. 7 out of 8. With each infusion, the fatigue sticks around a little longer and there is an overall feeling of tiredness that pervades my day-to-day more consistently. My nails have started to become tender and look as if they are bruised underneath. I’ve read that chemo can make nails split and even fall off so, to care for them I've been using tee tree oil, nail strengthening cream, and hand lotion every day, twice a day. Other treatment related symptoms include a general puffiness/weight gain from the steroids, hot flashes from chemo induced temporary (I hope) menopause, and general loss of muscle tone/strength. I am looking forward to when I can start healing my body from all of this.

My birthday is on Friday, June 7th and I know that mentally and energetically I will be squarely at the bottom of the hill with the fatigue fog rolling in for the weekend. I am trying to not let it get me down but birthdays that fall on a Friday or weekend are precious - gosh darn it. I’ll survive and pivot birthday celebrations to a later weekend when the energy and good vibes are plentiful. 

My final Infusion is on June 24th (thank goodness!!). Once chemotherapy treatment is completed I’ll have a 4 week break where I’ll get follow up scans and imaging to see what impact the chemotherapy has had on the tumor. The hope is that I have a pathological complete response (pCR), meaning the chemo removes all signs of cancer. At this point my Medical Oncologist thinks pCR is unlikely based on the progress of my tumor that we can feel during pre-chemo follow up exams - we'll see. pCR or not, next up is my double mastectomy surgery.

The decision on how to proceed surgically is deeply personal, informed by all the nuances of your cancer, personal goals, and aesthetic preferences. In some cases the choice is more obvious (e.g. you have a genetic mutation that puts you at high risk for other cancers) and in others the path forward is less obvious.

While I tested negative for any genetic mutation and there appears to be no lymph node involvement, Triple Negative Breast Cancer is aggressive, with a high rate of recurrence - coupled with my young age (as it relates to cancer 🤓), I decided to have a double mastectomy in an effort to lower my risk of recurrence or developing any kind of cancer in my other breast. I also want to achieve as close to a natural, symmetrical result as possible with my reconstruction surgery and that is best achieved if I go for both breasts.

It’s really really surreal having to make these kind of decisions. I am doing my best to process the reality and begin to grieve the loss but I know thinking on it versus actually going through it are two entirely different experiences.

My double mastectomy surgery is slated for August 1st. I'll share more later on what recovery looks like and where we are headed next.

Until next time, 

V

Main Quest action at Drew & Oliva's wedding

Chemo nails w/ red bruising under nail